Once Upon a Time (A Poem of Cliches)


This poem of cliches, originally posted on Chris McMullen’s blog, has been reposted here with permission from the author and launches a series of poems to be posted here at Read Tuesday.

Once upon a time, it was a dark and stormy night.

A tall, dark, and handsome knight was bored out of his mind.

Far, far away, a damsel was in distress.

The knight woke up and smelled the coffee.

The time had come to cut to the chase.

So he put the pedal to the metal.

He went the whole nine yards.

Then he went the extra mile.

He was careful not to burn any bridges along the way.

But he did break a leg.

It was nothing to sneeze at.

He took two cookies and saw the doctor in the morning.

Then he felt snug as a bug in a rug.

He turned nutty as a fruitcake and barked like a dog.

Unfortunately, he was barking up the wrong tree.

Fortunately, he had an ace up his sleeve.

Until he lost his shirt.

So he followed his nose.

He arrived just in the nick of time.

Better late than never.

The damsel was over a barrel.

A tiger was playing mouse with her.

The knight took the tiger by the tail.

Since he had a bone to pick with that tiger.

It was like playing with fire.

He cleaned the tiger’s clock.

Then he rubbed salt in the tiger’s wounds.

The tiger went stiff as a board and then bit the dust.

Next he buried the hatchet.

And the tiger was up a creek without a paddle.

When the knight and damsel met, it was love at first sight.

It was so romantic.

Because it takes two to tango and three’s a crowd.

They were like two peas in a pod.

He was dressed to the nines and she had money to burn.

So they tied the knot.

They even put the icing on the cake.

And they lived happily ever after.

They were on cloud nine.

Until they kicked the bucket.

Life goes on.

All’s well that ends well.

That’s a wrap.

The end.

Copyright 2013 (c) by Chris McMullen. This poem was originally posted at http://chrismcmullen.wordpress.com and was featured in Freshly Pressed (click here to see the original, which includes numerous cliche-themed comments). It has been reposted here at the Read Tuesday website to help promote literacy with permission of the author. This poem has also appeared on the Community Storyboard. Educators and parents may use this poem freely for non-commercial, educational purposes.

The anticipated sequel to this poem of cliches, to be called “Beating a Dead Horse,” will make its debut this week.

This poem of cliches, “Once Upon a Time,” kicks off a series of poetry that will be featured here at Read Tuesday. The poems will relate to such topics as reading, literacy, shopping, discounts, and Black Friday—i.e. they will relate to the Read Tuesday event in some way. To learn how to submit a poem for consideration, click here.

Read Tuesday is striving to help promote reading and improve literacy with a special one-day, Black Friday type of sales even just for books on December 10, 2013. Author and reader participation is free.

2 responses to “Once Upon a Time (A Poem of Cliches)

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